Lackluster premium Guinness for the unrefined masses only. First off, mired Irish schwarzbier should be canned instead of bottled so aeration could properly activate yeast. Secondly, washed-out grain roasting, ashen chocolate wretchedness, and slick hop-charred bittering turn plastic by faux-nutty freeze-dried coffee finish.

Less pathetic, but nearly as drab, as typical gluten-free pale lagers. Unlike competitors repulsive sorghum-based output, dried-out barley (lacking gliadin proteins) proves to be wise substitute for celiac sufferers. Nonetheless, watered-down toasted cereal graining and gentle prickly-hopped rice slip derailed by nasty corn-oiled malt liquor immensity as well as acrid vegetal musk.

Indistinct 2011 collaboration between Stone, Japanese brewer Baird, and Guam brewmaster Toshi Ishii promotes Tsunami relief but lacks firm theme. Heavy yeast sediment clouds amber-hazed dry body. Advertised green tea influence lost between bitterly lemon-seeded Aramis hop dryness and honeyed ginger sweetness, recalling earthen herbal crisping and tea-leafed bittering of an English ESB by forgoing expectant citric-fruited tenacity of typical American IPA. Tertiary pineapple, grapefruit, and peach illusions merely warble across dark-spiced nicety. Not bad, but inessential.

Easygoing clear-yellowed Munich-styled helles lager offers polite pale malted mineral graining and delicate grassy-hopped dryness to salted citric intimation. Earthen fungi bottom reinforces lemony orange-grapefruit spritz of snazzy summer seasonal.

Approachable yellow-hazed pale lager brings fizzy peppered spicing to dry-grained breading and mild lemony orange caress. Vegetal celery and asparagus illusions linger below crisply elegant moderate-bodied sedation.

Bold amber-hazed pale body closer to brisk piney fruited IPA. Sharp grapefruit-peeled orange rind bittering and rising lemon peel tang heighten juniper berry bite. Bright mango, tangerine, kiwi, pear, and quince fruiting sweetens caramel malt backdrop. Resinous wood-grained alcohol assertiveness plies grassy hop bottom.

Mild blueberry tartness stays complacent over phenol citric-hopped acridity. Bigger swig reveals blueberry pie, blueberry seed, and blueberry muffin illusions above sweet cornbread bottom. Light cranberry pucker adds minor sour-fruited pungency.

Blandly watered down schwarzbier styling stays soapy, indecisive and indistinct. Washed out chocolate malting and dirty peat soiling cloak oily coffee drear. Peat mossy bottom goes flat.

On tap at Andy’s Corner Bar, softly creamed copper-toned Belgian dubbel (cask version) brings mild floral waft to receptive dried apricot, medicinal cherry and navel orange tones. Dainty pilsner malting underscores dehydrated fruiting.

Indistinct, but not unwelcome, stylistic changeup, rich for its class, but completely desolate up-front. Bittersweet apple-skinned naval orange, pink grapefruit, peach, and cherry tartness evaporates above chewy caramel buttering. Minor vegetal-wafted fungi sourness befits tertiary celery, rhubarb and spinach musk. Frugal flavoring stays at back of the throat.

Vapid dry-hopped Bavarian-styled pale lager lacks prevailing flavor profile. Instead, washed-out citric tartness ekes out space beside faded green grape esters, diluted Granny Smith apple pucker, and distant grapefruit dab. Earthen vegetal dulling and astringent honeyed malting pick up minor dishwater solvency.

Perfectly bland summer afternoon lawnmower fare with sticky-tongued orange blossom honey mildness above thin white wheat base gets lost in phenol hop astringency. Trifling orange-tangerine soaping, vegetal maize-dried snip and cardboard backdrop lag behind. Brewed by South Carolina’s Thomas Hooker for Orlando-based nanobrewery.