Enormous 32-ounce can brings tinny metallic derision to slick caramel malting and phenol-hopped acridity of understated, lackluster porter-bock mix. Despite boasting ‘glacial mineral water,’ crispness lacks. Obliging brown-sugared cocoa-powdered chocolate roast overrides ashen cola-walnut singe consuming astringent purple grape, prune, and cherry whimper, weakening to chalky mocha tartness. Slight barleywine lick detected at blah dried-fruit finish. Serve to less discriminating brown ale consumers.