ELVIRA’S NIGHT DARK LAGER

Monster movie cleavage queen Elvira provides promo for full-bodied lager. Overtones of holiday seasoning (nutmeg-coriander) and red ale fruitiness (apple-pear-peach) provide zesty burst of sweetness to simmering cocoa malting. Bad publicity initiated by former sponsor, Coors, and the black-attired vampress’ exposed cleavage at the Great American Beerfest hurt sales and production ceased by ’98.

EL TORO NEGRO OATMEAL STOUT

Despite expectant dark-toned gruffness, light-bodied stout stays defiantly easygoing and stylistically abstruse, dodging chocolate-y expectancy and finishing a bit thin. Buttery popcorn initiation quickly wiped away by black coffee serenity and burnt hickory ravine, turning drier as sour grape esters and arid cherry tartness rip through roasted hop setting where maple-walnut-cocoa illusions find solace.

EKU 28

Unbeatable barleywine-styled eisbock injects boisterous 11% alcohol swoon into chewy molasses malting, creamy butterscotch sideswipe, orange-bruised stewed prune ripeness, dark rum whir and endless fruited compote adjuncts. A virtual godsend for hard-core drinkers, its hefty port-sherry influence, chocolate-covered cherry quip and hard-candied medicinal spell receive desirous Cognac warmth. There’s even a hint of Southern Comfort. Truly phenomenal.