Thick and chewy buttered malt creaminess differentiates Warthog from most crisp, clean, lighter-bodied Canadian brews. Smooth brown-sugared grain-toasted chocolate nuttiness lasts for the duration, gaining dry barleywine illusion along the way. Will appeal to less discriminating brown ale and light porter fans.

Brewed by Stark Mill for New Hampshire-based Milly’s Tavern. Overly foamy cloudy white-headed cream ale retains lime-y carbonation, uncharacteristic lagered yeast lightness, and unspecific tartness. Besides, creaminess lacks.

Friendly yellow-cleared cask-conditioned light-body too mainstream and soapy despite zesty lemon tagline. Aromatic wheat straw wisp penetrates pallid corn-sugared cotton candy sweetness, mild perfumed fruitiness, and illuminating coriander seduction to soft biscuit-y recession. Closer to a white ale, but labeled a cream ale.

Protracted citric hop simmer given subtle lemon fizz, floral peach-pear ebb, and quince hint. Washed-out faint bitterness and soft water flow lighten dry wheat-grass chaff to doughy finish. Despite lack of reputed creaminess, no negative traits disrupt this undistinguished middleweight.

Velvety smooth, lively carbonated, light amber ale lacks expected creaminess as dry wheat grass base encounters miserly vegetal spell, yucky diacetyl swerve, and dank lemony metallic astringency.

Strangely less chocolate-y than Quake’s Red Cream. Bland, dulled out buttery mocha mouthfeel undone by watered down vanilla-maple vapidity. Brewery defunct: 2003. Picture courtesy of www.beerlabels.com

Aromatic green apple tartness and mouth-puckering citric souring provide eye-squinting bitterness, leading to heartburn-inducing vinous acidity. Intrusive carbolic fluff overwhelms miniscule butterscotch malt creaminess. Lacking necessary cereal-grained sweetness to counter dismal one-dimensional yellow-fruited sourness. Too similar to Big Hole’s lackluster Pale Ale.

Non-specific lactose cream ale lost in redundant diacetyl mediocrity. Hardly any differentiation from Quake’s two similar brews. Brewery defunct: 2003.

Warbly copper-hued cream ale with ample sweet raspberry nose and mouthfeel done in by dour phenol creaming at shaky barley-wheat backend. Chewy caramel malt overtones are welcome, but mild astringency prohibits raspberry flux at incomplete finish. Nevertheless, well fermented milky yeast thickness provides solid depth.

Belly-bloating stout-like milk chocolate creaminess, lackluster barley roast, molasses hints, and ester-y aroma intruded by acidic carbonation. Relegated to extremely filling, albeit unassuming, 8.2% alcohol-stricken rue. Brewery defunct: 2003.

Illuminating honeyed orange-lemon essence and sweet vanilla malting give tangy light-bodied thirst quencher an effervescent Orange Crush soda, sherbet, or creamsickle appeal. Seltzer fizz hides faint peach-grapefruit-ginger tones. A better ‘malternative.’

Despite bubbly effervescence, citrus-tinged spiciness, creamy malt elegance, and pleasant grain finish, pale reddish-hued ale remains unassuming. Easy to drink, but in need of extra umphh! Beer’s been retired since ’08.