Desiccated pilsner-malted light body brings German lager yeast to short-lived lemony apricot spritz, raw-honeyed sourdough breading, acrid maize parch and musty straw-hay musk. Pallid dullness.

On tap at Taphouse Grille, crisply soft-tongued German pils-styled moderation allows delicate honeyed biscuit malting and spicy hop tingle to get watery by musky vegetal midst. Resigned cereal grain finish lacks luster.

Enjoyable 2013 pilsner-styled pale lager (a.k.a. Champagne Velvet) celebrates Upland’s 15th anniversary with homage to Indiana’s ‘most beloved beer’ from defunct Terre Haute Brewery. Clear-yellowed German pils brings corn-sugared cereal graining to crisp lemon-soured spritz, mild grassy hop bittering and buttery pale malt toastiness. Musky yeast pungency reminiscent of Heineken.

On tap at Ambulance, famed Bavarian cult beer brings sour yellow fruited pungency to delicately skunked dry hop bittering and light pilsner malting. Mild lemon-rotted grapefruit zing gets scattered across raw-honeyed mineral graining, sourdough yeast and grassy herbal niche.

Easygoing gold-cleared Czech pils provides pale malt dryness for toasted white bread neutrality and strawed maize acridity. Fizzy hop spicing and drab yellow-orange fruiting don’t help matters.

Bothersome nickel-hazed Czech pils (in a can) tastes like an infected sour saison or problematic Belgian pale ale. Superficial orange souring and lemon rot spoilage reach bad cider finish, picking up tannic white grape tartness and earthen musk.

Bland blonde pilsner serves musky grains to clean rice adjunct and grassy hop waft. Lemony smidge recedes to cardboard-like oxidation. Cheap pale yellowed light body will barely satisfy Blue Collar thirsts.

Rustic pilsner malts bring light toasted graining to musty yellow-fruited dalliance and pungent wood-dried hop bittering. Polite carbolic fizz and faint phenol esters mask mild grapefruit niche while white-breaded bottom softens precipitously.

Tepid German-styled pilsner retains dry-hopped wheat chaff and maize acridity to its buttered bread bottom. Cloying corn sugaring diminished by sudsy carbolic fizz.

Blasé light pils stays dull as doughy white rice neutrality and straw wheat acridity prove negligible. Fizzy hop pep fizzles in the air. Boring.

Daft pale-yellowed low alcohol drear recalls dryer Rheingold. Wheat-strawed maize astringency mires lightly toasted breading. And since the sugaring lacks, its bland finish is nothing but carbolic fluff.

On tap at Blue Ribbon Tavern, musky moderate-bodied flagship pilsner brings gluey cardboard-like pale malting to raw-honeyed sour lemon putridity. Lusty carbolic citric spritz negates musty vegetal herbage that wispily seeps into roughhewn bruised orange finish.