Nondescript clear-toned pilsner suffers from dank soapiness and phenol spicing lesser Eastern Euro competitors succumb to. Soft-hopped piquancy, dulled wheat cracker snippet, and sullen fruitiness develop cardboard-y banality, deterring green tea, pumpernickel, and baked bread illusions.

Low calorie-carbohydrate pils expectedly lacks sugary malt thrust to put it over the top. Instead, harshly astringent honeyed almond frontage gets mired in soft hop-fizzed neutrality. Luckily, light marzipan reminder avoids annoyingly synthetic ‘lite’ beer affliction.

Named after the Three Stooges character, bland pilsner has no noticeable aroma, weak malt presence, and hidden clove-agave spices beneath soft-watered cardboard finish.

Clear-toned pearl-headed German version suffers from dour malt souring, lacking body and resilience. Silky hop ease and subdued yeast pungency will thrill amateurs ready to try richer pils.

1-pint tin can features picturesque golf design collectors will deem worthy. Gooey spiced malt sweetness, corn sugar base, and mild tea innuendo lack robustness, but as lightweight German pilsner (listed as an ale) it’ll please amateurs turned off by bulkier bitter-hopped rivals.

Skunked yeast waft, soapy dishwater flow, and cloying mouthfeel ruin biscuit-y wheat cracker contour of sweet-grained moderation. Gentle grassy hop bittering underscores latent sourdough persuasion. Rivals vapid American macrobrews.

From Peru’s main port comes this grainy corn-sugared hop-infested light-bodied mainstream pilsner. Only moderately engaging in its watery simplicity.

Befuddling plastic-cardboard mouthfeel debunks sweet crystal malt chasm, light-hopped fizz, muted orange backdrop, and grassy tinge. Pass.

Briny-wafted pale-toned pils with cardboard-like grain palate and eager spiced-hop bitterness retains casual dry-bodied splendor to lightly oxidized floral finish.

Spoiled sourdough swill and acrid malt inadequacy ruin sharply astringent malt liquor-ish spew. Makes Schlitz seem appetizing. Appallingly abhorrent.

Dubious wheat-backed lightweight voids soft-toned hop fizz and slim sour apple tinge at dry popcorn finish for mainstream matinee quaff. Brewery defunct: 2008.

Golden complexion, aromatic hop jab and sweet rice caking put moderate-bodied Estonian closer to Asian brew like Asahi rather than typical pungent Eastern European fare. Unexpected prune juice ascent accommodates mellow grain-roasted caramel malting at refined finish.