Spoiled sourdough swill and acrid malt inadequacy ruin sharply astringent malt liquor-ish spew. Makes Schlitz seem appetizing. Appallingly abhorrent.

Dubious wheat-backed lightweight voids soft-toned hop fizz and slim sour apple tinge at dry popcorn finish for mainstream matinee quaff. Brewery defunct: 2008.

Golden complexion, aromatic hop jab and sweet rice caking put moderate-bodied Estonian closer to Asian brew like Asahi rather than typical pungent Eastern European fare. Unexpected prune juice ascent accommodates mellow grain-roasted caramel malting at refined finish.

Musty pale-toned malt-wafted medium-bodied Austrian underscores seltzer-watered fizz with bittersweet grassy-hopped grain compaction and bread-like yeast mildness. Acidic green apple subsidy nearly befouls firm barley base. Fine as a casual treat or served with meats and cheeses.

Shallow light-bodied pale-toned fluffy-headed Bavarian pilsner brings sour bread plainness to dank grain flank and skunked malt pungency. Thin wheat sweetness falls off at washed out finish as carbonation flattens.

Nondescript clear-toned pilsner suffers from dank soapiness and phenol spicing lesser Eastern Euro competitors succumb to. Soft-hopped piquancy, dulled wheat cracker snippet, and sullen fruitiness develop cardboard-y banality, deterring green tea, pumpernickel, and baked bread illusions.

Imaginative non-alcoholic golden-paled medium body with musty skunked malt waft and astringent grain sharpness analogous to Beck’s Pilsner. Mild hop-fizzed orange peel bitterness and off-dry lime-y bottom convincingly contrast glutinous honeyed wafer aftertaste.

Delicately bland seltzer water with skimpy mandarin orange hint and sketchy grain outline. Brewery defunct: 2008.

Blonde Czech-styled light body gathers straw wheat husk, grassy hop pep, and yellow fruit sweetness, leaving fleshy lace along glass. Sugar water finish gains trite, but polite, herbal touch. Could pass as soapy German weiss.

Buttery soft-hopped barley-corn envelops tongue before cheap Scotch malt sweetness inundates plain finish. Better than most macrobrews thanks to crisp water flow.

Sour bread-scented, foamy white-headed, pale-bodied German ruined by washed out hop subversion and fey mineral graining. Watery finish depletes tepid Scotch malt sweetness.

Generic named pale yellow Ecuadorian with up-front cereal grain template not far removed from most watery Mexican pils offering hop fizzed soapy nature. Curious wood-smoked hint silenced by limpid wheat graze, cloy corn snip, tart peach slack, and cardboard mouthfeel.