Dreary dry-bodied non-alcohol brew pits chaffed wheat sham against sterile crystal malting and flat hops to soporific finish. An uninviting malt beverage that’s no excuse for an alternative to cheap pilsners.

Fluffy white head and pale gold body prove as dull as soured malt liquor nature. Barest bruised orange bittering cannot overcome phenol carbonated fizz; becomes cabbage-like when warmed.

Average Bavarian-styled pilsner enjoys early peppery prickle, but phenol hop grip and dippy citric slip fade to sour wheat limbo by soapy finish.

Better-than-average pale-cleared dry-bodied pils integrates grassy wheat chaff, sour malt grist, and firm hop grit with protruding floral spicing. Pesky caramel tinge sweetens backend. Brewery defunct: 2005.

Malted wheat subtlety and mineral water softness of plain pale pils perks pithy orange, lime, and unripe apricot hints to delicate hop finish, preserving off-dry lightweight appeal.

Honeyed malt crescendo usurps subtle spiced hop bitterness and soured yeast ripple threading moderate cereal graining. Lemony herbal nuance gets dryly acidic on hazy gold medium body.

Dismal cabbage-wafted watery-textured dirty-grained moderate body relegates skunked bittering. Rugged pale malting and pungent hop astringency less rewarding than Heineken.

Robust straw-hued Keller-styled German pilsner places bittersweet lemony peach tang and ripe banana tartness above woody floral-spiced Hallertau-hopped bottom. A well balanced draught beer perfect for softer palates as well as hardier thirsts.

Palest clear-toned pilsner may lack body, but wood-smoked pale malting and fizzy hop-spiced continuance make easygoing Brazilian everything you’d want in a light summery refreshment. Sweet grain finish picks up grassy citric souring.

Moderate-bodied, malt-sapped, hop-fueled Russian finishes with sweet water-softened baked bread gentleness. Simplicity personified.

Admirable medium-bodied pilsner with viscous yeast sediment given instant bright apricot juiciness topped by single malt Scotch persistence tethering rye-dried caramelized wheat base. Brewery defunct: 2001.

Robust amber-hazed pils extends deep grain penetration and sharp spice-hop fizz to sugary wheat biscuit luster. Richer than its light class suggests, but flat dank finish picks up harsh acidity underlying astringent fruity esters.