Keen copper-hued Munich ‘helles’ lager maintains decent head, sinewy yeast residue, deep-grained hop bitterness, and unctuous pale malt summit nearly reminiscent of toasted brown ales. Brewery defunct: 2005.

Inexpressive green-bottled pale-yellowed light body fails to provide enough lemony grapefruit spritz for sweet corn-rice adjuncts, bringing about soapy malt dankness. Abysmal metallic drear ransacks any further distinction.

Patriotic moniker aside, this clear golden lightweight merely dupes statewide macro-brewed yuck of yore. Slight diacetyl nature depletes sugared lemony grapefruit opening and prickly hop carbonation, leaving a badly exposed acrid grain backbone.

Musty sour scent doesn’t bode well for bland barley-backed amber lager. Strident malt flow and watery finish fail to properly exploit faint cracked wheat inducement.

Cheap white-headed straw-bodied Michelob knockoff less appealing than lower rung Asian brews. Musty barleymalts envelop cloy watery spritz.

Now brewed out-of-state (if at all) and lacking preferred Scituate Reservoir water source, this moderate-bodied, toasted barley-centered lager blends delicate citric hops into sweet corn-sugared malting. Plain oxidized finish combines distant nutty bitterness with saltwater soothe. In ’07, Rochester, New York brewery tweaked recipe, removing some bitterness augmenting diffuse lemon-drop lament.

Lame hop dryness overwhelms creamy maple malts, sabotaging any specificity. Polite spicing saves diminished grain finish, barely.

Sugary malt summit and soft-buttered sourdough valley juxtapose dulled grain bitterness, displaced citric sourness, and cardboard bottom of blase’ pale lager. Brewery defunct: 2007.

Toasted barleymalt sweetness highlights rice-y follow-through and buttery creaminess reminiscent of Sleeman’s (but not as well-defined). Suffers from same ‘clear bottle syndrome’ Miller and Corona do, remaining basic, second rate, and worse, cloying.

Musty sour malt waft, spry carbolic fizz, and unspecific hop spicing (reminiscent of some red ales) greet foamy white-headed gold lager. Overt carbonation minimizes cereal graininess to mere backdrop as tepid saltwater finish remains dull like too many simple South of the Border brews.

Cheap sugary cornmeal theme and soured maize nosing infiltrate barley-hay base of canned medium-bodied yellow pils. Alongside sticky malt mouthfeel, fizzy carbolic nature, and phenol hop wisp, very reminiscent of bland, tinny, scarcely efficient ’60s American macrobrews such as the original Rheingold, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and dozens of lesser defunct generic local brands. In bottled version, astringent sourness, overt fizz, and insufficient head decrease value further, leaving severe acridity and parched throat.