Supposed German-styled lager corrupts Seltzer-watered lightness with sagging chocolate malt lag. Musty barley-toasted mocha sweetness can’t overcome bland, indistinct finish.

Gimmicky one dimensional lager lacks luster after green jalapeno pepper hits you like hot tamale at first swallow. Distant garlic uneasiness usurped by harrowingly cloy finish.

Ghostly pale short-headed pilsner with frisky tongue-tingling hop fizz overriding lost grain incentive, dank malt nose, and sweet tobacco leaf snippet. Calming bitterness ultimately tamed by dull watery finish of wispy lightweight.

Subtle smoked malt taunt and shadowy honey-sugared sweetness drape early metallic souring of soapy golden-hazed medium-bodied pale lager. Floral-herbal caress compromised by vegetal rice-corn stridency. Second-rate.

Washed-out soapiness spoils inconspicuous 6.8% alcohol-soaked pale yellow Pol. Cereal biscuit theme cannot overcome bland honeyed malt prompt, leaving barest grassy hop finish to tend for itself against prickly carbolic acridity.

Lame light-bodied lager with gnarly 4.8% alcohol and quick hop bite flattens out. Fizzy sugar surge and deflective malt chintz ultimately inconsequential.

Sharp hop fizz deepens corn syrupy honeyed oats sweetness and husked wheat dryness. Glutinous wheat mouthfeel confirms thick malting. Robust considering lager status. Perfect early evening prelude.

Dismal white-headed pale-bodied lager contrasts dingy barley-wheat sweetness and mineral earthiness against salty sourdough finish. Moderate dry hop bittering disrupted by cloying fizz.

Do they drink this rust-hued pale lager at Kremlin while snorting vodka? Moderate malted hops penetrate the senses as refreshing water smoothness counters dirty grain consistency, combining for Scotch-like finish softening on the back of the tongue. Easy to plow down like many barely adequate, overly advertised American macrobrews.

Earthen hop aroma, soft water flow, and dank barley-grained mesh lead to soapy finish. Happily, moderate-bodied frivolity lacks the sickly cloy sweetness of American counterparts such as Miller Genuine Draft or Budweiser.

Not as rich and robust as brewers’ better stuff, yet efficient in its straightforward approach. Mild citric hop bitterness and subtle toasted grain persistence appealingly simplistic. Doughy yeast median decorates carbolic fizz, but the difference between Sam Smith’s ‘organic’ lager and its ‘pure brewed’ lager seems inconsequential.