Tepid straw-cleared fizz-water (with no body or character) brings soapy corn malts and salty lemon-rotted grapefruit souring to the severely washed-out French bread finish. Cheap whiskey snip detected when warmed.
Tag Archives: pale lager
BECK’S SAPPHIRE
On principle alone, this golden-paled macrobrew disaster should receive a zero rating. Its under-utilized or under-developed sapphire hop influence gets lost amongst buttery corn malts and cloying artificial sugaring to its stale white breaded finish. Soapy respite ruins the aftertaste. Beck’s should never allow this cheap crap to penetrate an already saturated beer market.
(GAYANT) LA DEMON FRENCH SPECIALTY ALE
Diabolically horrid French pale lager with fusel-like 11.5% alcohol bluster and nasty cheap vodka astringency worse than 40-ounce malt liquor. Cloy corn whiskey spell drops off to diacetyl Chardonnay rancidity, picking up sinewy cat-pissed turpentine linger. Yuck.
NATIONAL PREMIUM PALE DRY LAGER
Classic post-prohibition recipe given resurgence around 2012. Toasted hop spicing relegates grassy wheat-chaffed sourdough breading to maize-dried barley biscuit base for delicately sessionable moderation.
EPIC HOP SYNDROME LAGER
Summery yellow-hazed pale lager with estimable dry-hopped IPA tendencies offers perfumed citric zest to dusty floral earthiness. Lemony grapefruit peel and orange pith embitter tart pineapple, marmalade, cantaloupe and apple illusions. Black-peppered herbal tea and grassy hop oiling add resinous backdrop.
PRETTY THINGS AMERICAN DARLING
Daringly complex dry-hopped pale lager moves beyond stylistic limitations with its heightened vodka-like 7% alcohol volume, zesty citric intrigue, lingered herbal notion and perfumed lavender florality. Musty yeast funk brings earthen fungi peculiarity to lemon-peeled grapefruit, orange, clementine and navel orange tartness as well as black-peppered lemongrass, basil and sage herbage. Mineral-grained German pilsner malting provides soft base. On tap at Track 84, sunny lemon spritz and mild orange tartness endear grassy-hopped herbage.
(EXPLOSION) BOOM BOHMERWALD’S MAJESTY LAGER
Desultory Czech pale bock unfolds slowly and haphazardly. Glutenous rye malting falters as buttery whiskey seeps into the light honey-spiced midst. Supposed oak-chipped smokiness barely registers and cloy beet sugaring is questionable.
(COORS) BATCH 19 PRE-PROHIBITION STYLE LAGER
On tap at NJ Beer Expo ’13, thin golden-cleared lager (made from pre-prohibition recipe) brings dry malted hop spicing to mild hop bittering and toasted rye spine. Buttered popcorn smidgen and soda bread snip lost by ultra dry orange-oiled finish. In the bottle, drearily unassuming dry-grained moderation suffers from slick corn-oiled astringency and passive citric sugaring.
HARVIESTOUN SCHIEHALLION LAGER
Serene warm-fermented pale lager brings fresh-watered mountainside dewy mist and marble rye sourdough breading to tangy grapefruit-peeled pineapple bittering. Lightly salted dry-hopped spicing tingles raw-honeyed ginger tea backdrop at billowy wheat biscuit bottom. Easygoing sessionable fare ultimately mingles light lagered baked breading with spritzy citric pale ale flare.
BOSS HONEY PALE LAGER
Disgustingly gross sinewy suds (a.k.a. Lubuskie Miodowe) allows slick raw-honeyed astringency and nastily cloy sugared malts to putrify one-dimnesional scum water. In comparison, Hall’s Honey Lemon Coughdrop tastes way better.
PERONI BIRRA
Crisply sessionable clear-yellowed light body layers salted lemon zesting atop buttered Italian breading grazing soft barley-maize-rice bed. Brisk carbolic nature from spritzy citrus spicing gains gentle herbal hop musk.
(HIGH FALLS) GOLDMINE LAGER
Slickly glutinous pale-strawed fodder (reticently contract brewed by Genesee’s sponsor) promises the goldmine but gives us the shaft. Stale whiskey entry depleted by nasty corn-sugared malt liquoring and oily-hopped diacetyl buttering. Skunky cat urine salting further cheapens ruggedly coarse $2.99 per 6-pack dreck.