Frisky hop nose, bland wheat cracker mouthfeel, and berry-spiced complacency initiate unassuming hefeweizen. Dry barley center way too soft and flighty peach-tangerine tang too distant. Drink with a lemon wedge to perk up yeast residue.
All posts by John Fortunato
CARLSBERG LAGER
Delicate up-front citric-dried hop fizz fails to embrace murky pale malt skunking, washed-out cereal-grained banality and sour yeast musk of light-bodied Scandinavian less pungent and less efficient than Heineken – not to mention a tad watery and indecisive.
(CARLSBERG) JACOBSEN SAAZ BLONDE
Lightly textured clear amber pale ale overlays curtailed pine needled Saaz hop bittering with suave butternut, banana taffy, clove, and coriander accents for a quick sec. But spice-speckled Belgian-like yeast sweetness loses sumptuousness as cloying corn-sugared whiskey transition cheapens glutinous urban-styled malt liquor finish.
(CARLSBERG) JACOBSEN DARK LAGER
Earthen peat-soiled garnet-cleared lager retains nut-roasted brown ale-like styling and mineral-grained purity. Strange vegetal-soured matchstick nose consumes toasted barley base and pumpernickel-rye slip to no ill effect.
CARLSBERG ELEPHANT MALT LIQUOR
Inconsequential foamy-headed golden-cleared strong pilsner suffers from harshly skunked honeyed wheat malting and nasty metallic musk, lacking proper grassy hop bite. Peppy carbolic prickle nearly dissolves dissipating ultra-dry citric mustiness, rotting apple core and irritating cat urine finish. But ultimately, this drearily creamy spume recalls generic American malt liquors.
(CARLOW) O’HARA’S IRISH RED
Whiskey-scented hop-toasted ale gains roasted chocolate divulgence and vanilla-butterscotch swirl to smoked nut finish. But burnt caramel undertone needs vigor.
(CARLOW) O’HARA’S CELTIC STOUT
Beautiful cascading brown bubbles reach frothy beige head of jet black milk stout less creamy and drier than Guinness foe. Espresso coffee frontage, roasted hop char, smoked nuttiness and tar-stricken backlash given lactose chocolate-maple aridity by chewy vanilla-butterscotch finish just a tad oily and parched for perfection. Also sold as O’Hara’s Irish Stout.
(CARLOW) MOLING’S TRADITIONAL CELTIC RED ALE
Buttery auburn-hued Celtic brew could be mistaken as medium-bodied copper ale, gaining off-dry earthiness, sweet prune variance, mild tobacco-peat merger, and ashy chocolate roast to moderate caramel finish.
(CARLOW) CURIM GOLD CELTIC WHEAT BEER
Closer to thin American chaffed wheat than sweet floral German Weiss, as dulled whiskey aroma and undermining maize finish blemish tolerant cork-like opening, sour orange continuance, and teasing chocolate malt whir. As it warms, hazy butterscotch profundity takes over.
CARLING LAGER
4.9% alcohol edition gets sharper hop vibe, deeper malted grain thrust, and better glutinous wheat profile than Black Label version. Brisk water flow and slight orange influence enhance crisp finish.
CARLING BLACK LABEL LAGER
Molson version of antiquated American macro proves less is more as minor hop fizz, wispy wheat whisk, and sparkling water crispness offer Canadian upgrade. But dry lemon pith pucker and grain backing lack resolve.
CARIB SHANDY LAGER
What can be said about a bright red “beer spritzer” made with artificial flavors? As fizzy head flattens out, cloy ginger ale stickiness leaves disdainful sugary coughdrop tartness on tongue, building oncoming hangover. Better than Zima, barely (but not 7 Up). ‘Tis nearly impossible to get through half a 12-ounce bottle before tossing into garbage.