
RJ ROCKERS FISH PARALYZER BELGIAN-STYLE PALE ALE


OK. So MillerCoors makes this lowly-regarded malt beverage (suspectly given space at the liquor store in the beer section). They ain’t beer ’cause the grain base don’t exist and it tastes more like apple juice. However, as a light refreshment its red apple ripeness, sweet cider kick and sugary caramel backside have a spritzy splendor sweet-toothed softies and Jolly Rancher fans will enjoy.

Tepid straw-cleared fizz-water (with no body or character) brings soapy corn malts and salty lemon-rotted grapefruit souring to the severely washed-out French bread finish. Cheap whiskey snip detected when warmed.


Reliable dark chocolate creaming and molasses-sapped cookie dough sinew anchor full-bodied mocha dessert treat. Chocolate truffle, chocolate cake, dark toffee and vanilla sweetness contrasts moderated oats-charred hop bittering. Butternut, pecan and praline nuttiness stays far below.
Ultra-rich full body tries to squeeze a myriad of flavors into a single whole and nearly succeeds. Creamy dark chocolate fudging gets nudged by glutinous anise gunk as port-wined black cherry, blackberry and prune harden the edges. Pine-sapped molasses and oak-charred black whiskey tones thicken the embittered tar-like hop char. Just a little heavy-handed and overwhelming.

Richly creamed Easter-seasoned mocha dessert similar to Mackeson Triple XXX Stout’s rich caramel-burnt toffee theme, only less effective. Still, its milky dark-roasted brown chocolate sweetness is infectious and the cocoa-powdered espresso coffee backend effective. Moreover, an inviting pine-sapped molasses thickness and mild vanilla sugaring secure the full-bodied pleasantry. However, oily resin hop gunk, trifling raisin souring and buttery soy saucing seem out of place.

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On principle alone, this golden-paled macrobrew disaster should receive a zero rating. Its under-utilized or under-developed sapphire hop influence gets lost amongst buttery corn malts and cloying artificial sugaring to its stale white breaded finish. Soapy respite ruins the aftertaste. Beck’s should never allow this cheap crap to penetrate an already saturated beer market.


