Muddled rust-corroded winter seasonal lacks resolve. Harsh ethanol-laced diacetyl propensity outweighs musty orange spicing and barren seasonal spicing. Remote fig-dried apple-skinned musk, distant almond-toasted caramel malting, and slight mineral-grained leafiness barely make a wave amidst agonizingly astringent parameters.
Dry rummy molasses entry and overripe fruiting undone by oncoming corn liquor outburst of stiff winter warmer. Bruised apricot, caramelized cherry, dried fig, navel orange, tangerine and pineapple fruiting sweeten caraway-seeded rye breading and herbal fennel snip, but nasty 11.2% alcohol coarseness will keep less adventurous yellow-bellied drinkers at bay. Serve to hardened Everclear purists.
Emaciated dry-spiced chestnut-hued winter warmer’s understated nature is drawback. Laid-back cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, paprika, and coriander spicing fades into obscure Scotch-malted mildness. Hasty cherry-apple grove wanes as feint banana-bread, cookie dough, and toasted almond illusions receive herbal drubbing.
Pleasantly smooth translucent copper moderation retains relaxed almondine-Amaretto bulwark reinforced by honeyed hazelnut, roasted chestnut, and dried prune illusions. Chewy caramel malts subtly linger through light metallic flutter.
Fleeting bottle conditioned yellow-bodied bitter gains brisk honeyed lemon entry that flutters away. Oncoming juniper-dried blueberry tartness surmounts flat phenol acidity, but humdrum white bread sloth and diacetyl nature prove ruinous.
Nasty gnome insignia suits swooning alcoholic elixir. Thick ‘n’ creamy fruited malt resilience, detailed cherry-prune serration, and sinister sherry saunter bring heady inception to complex Belgian tripel-styled intoxication. Pecan, berry, and currant notes coat sticky underbelly.
Fourth in a series behind Bad, Seriously Bad, and Very Bad Elf, hilariously labeled barleywine highlights a jailed dwarf. Boozy 10% alcohol whir and stiff brandy sniff guarantee heady rigidity justified by chewy caramel malting and bruised orange-cherry-banana sweetness countering increasingly bitter solvent-like severity. Syrupy cling peaches, rum-soaked raisins, wet tobacco, bubblegum, and vanilla decorate brown-sugared molasses sapping. It’s concentrated evil.
Tiny eggshell head, white peach waft, and nutmeg spicing dissipate prematurely, but dour medium-bodied seasonal boasts lively floral-doused citric hop sharpness plus soured crabapple, orange rind, and juniper berry prop. Fine as herbal red ale alternative.
Bereft gold-cleared medium-bodied faux-IPA applies piney-hopped lemon rind bittering to wayward wheat wafer sweetness. Nasty phenolic finish disturbs clean water flow while fruity expectancy never materializes. Caught between a boring American IPA and its original peat-licked English version.
Sufficient amber-reddish pale body contrasts summery stone-fruited sweetness against lemony currant bittering. But thin barley-roasted amber graining melts away beneath weak spiced hop flop.
Sadly, nebulous maroon-hued winter stout lacks expectant spicy seasonal intrigue and lusty mocha wanderlust, allowing witty Yuletide moniker to be more notable than muddled watered-down flavoring and diffuse charcoal aroma. ‘Dark Holiday’ seasonal claims to be “much more than you deserve for X-mas,” but thin roasted malting, dim chocolate-cocoa confection, concealed raisin-fig meekness, and dirty earthen whimper deaden impact. Understated hop-oiled cocoa-dried astringency blemishes dulled red-purple grape frolic, smothered pineapple-grapefruit slip, and cryptic anise snip.
Amiable ruby-maroon English porter humorously celebrates Saint Nick’s wide posterior with off-dry mocha frontage, roasted coffee sequel, and toasted barley bottom. Tobacco-dried plum wine and port illusions enter the fray beside grape tannin souring. Sedate watery finish sops mild malt creaminess.
