With pulsing candied sweetness confronting crisp hop bitterness, the rustic Beast Bitter carves out its own distinctive niche. The dragon regalia is a gas. (So as long as we’re celebrating the Middle Ages, hand me a beer, wench!) Pale-hued foamy white-headed full body counters honeyed apricot motif with buttery malts, leafy earthiness, and unusual assortment of spicy adjuncts.
All posts by John Fortunato
(MIDDLE AGES) APRICOT ALE
Perfumed apricot-peach tang bursts through polite floral accent, sweet melon nuance, and medicinal cough syrup continuance, but diminished fizz-hopped phenol finish goes sterile and blanched wheat bottom gets mired by diacetyl spell. Ripe cherry and stewed prune illusions revealed when warmed.
(MICHIGAN) NO DISPUT’N PUTIN IMPERIAL STOUT
Gleefully inspired by Russian leader, light-bodied stout maintains soft chocolate-nut overlay, dark-fruited bottom, and subsidiary roasted coffee sourness amending alcohol-smitten finish.
MICHIGAN MACKINAC PALE ALE
Protracted cereal-grained marzipan sweetness counters grassy-hopped lemony orange peel bittering and acidic alcohol astringency fronting rust-hazed medium body. Resinous floral spices then infiltrate buttery wheat biscuit spine, nestling latent apple-peach-pear tingle.
MICHIGAN HIGH SEAS INDIA PALE ALE
Bold viscous nickel-hued ruby-highlighted IPA wallops piney floral hop bittering with emergent grapefruit rind and green apple souring, subjugating resinous herbs to biscuit-y barley-wheat backbone. Elusive apricot-cherry hints recede to clean citron finish, scaling back sharp acidity.
MICHELOB ULTRA TUSCAN ORANGE GRAPEFRUIT PILSNER
Thin natural flavored malt beverage spritzer introduced ’08 comes in clear bottle. Though a tad arid and impossibly dry-bodied, its tart sun-kissed grapefruit-tangerine sweetness stays on the nose, informing washed-out Seltzer-fizzed candied citrus theme. Orange Krush soda with vanilla ice cream’s a better bet.
MICHELOB ULTRA POMEGRANATE RASPBERRY
Sweet raspberry tartness overwhelms dry pomegranate parch of clear straw bantamweight malt beverage. Some unripe white grape and cranberry undertones get strewn about thin wheat-husked backend. Gently fizzed lemon-limed seltzer-watered mouthfeel becomes artificially sweetened then completely washed-out.
MICHELOB ULTRA LIGHT LAGER
Clear gold foil hue extremely pale for low carbohydrate alternative thankfully bereft of nasty ‘lite’ beer preservatives. Fizzy flow lacks hop, barley, or yeast concentration, as lime-y seltzer water finish turns cardboard thin before dropping off precipitously.
MICHELOB PREMIUM LAGER
Best bought in 1-quart bottles, this refined, pale-bodied, bubbly-carbonated Bavarian-styled pilsner features iconic sharp-hopped barley roasted Scotch palate. Possessing decent body and recognizably sticky sweet malt luster, modest American classic is a fine stepping stone to more charismatic beers. Serve to hearty beginners. However, stay away from the canned version, which borders on cloying as soapy malts enjoin weak barley influence for lower-tiered cheaper quality brew.
MICHELOB MARZEN OKTOBERFEST STYLE LAGER
Spineless metallic autumn lager is washed-out. Cardboard-y bread-crusted Scotch vagary, watered down caramel malting, and faint red-fruited tingle fail to register properly. Astringent hop sop doesn’t help thin apple-pear-tangerine blur.
MICHELOB LIGHT LAGER
Very similar to Michelob Premium, but with bleached out ashy dusting overriding heavier versions’ Scotch malt dryness. Thankfully, artificial ‘lite’ ingredients seem undetectable while remaining less filling and more distinct than Bud Lite, for sure. Sweetness is barley-based rather than corn sugar-based like Budweiser.
MICHELOB HEFE WEIZEN
Embarrassingly weak unscented ‘ale’ with dry malt tangent, dull fruitiness, and biscuit-y barley ruse as indistinguishable as its inefficient wheat essence. The second worst Michelob off-shoot: weak, watery, acidic, and insulting.