Body and character may lack, but fizzy phenol tedium will please sweaty lawn-mowing pilsner heads. Toasted bread dampness eats up corn-husked parchedness, dried rice morsel, and astringent orange tartness.
RINGNES PILSENER
Pungent gold-hazed premium pils with all-too-familiar Nordic yeast souring. Unlikely Mexican-related agave spicing and floral accents pique interest temporarily but overwhelmingly musty pilsner malting brings raunchy astringency. Barest hint of mocha found at ambiguous finish. Barely thicker, richer than most one dimensional pilsners.
RINGNES GOLD
Sweet barley thrust contrasts skunked sourdough follow-up and cloy malt soaping, putting moderate-bodied Norwegian in minor league when compared to better nearby Holland-based brewer, Heineken. Faux corn-sugared malt liquor finish embittered by musty alcohol burn. One step from the junk pile.
(RIDGEWAY) WARM WELCOME NUT BROWNED ALE
Pleasantly smooth translucent copper moderation retains relaxed almondine-Amaretto bulwark reinforced by honeyed hazelnut, roasted chestnut, and dried prune illusions. Chewy caramel malts subtly linger through light metallic flutter.
(RIDGEWAY) VERY BAD ELF SPECIAL RESERVE ALE
Surprisingly mainstream Fuggle-hopped winter reserve lacks specific seasonal spiciness, staying inexpressive despite arousing fruited vegetal facade and pale malt quench.
(RIDGEWAY) SERIOUSLY BAD ELF ALE
Nasty gnome insignia suits swooning alcoholic elixir. Thick ‘n’ creamy fruited malt resilience, detailed cherry-prune serration, and sinister sherry saunter bring heady inception to complex Belgian tripel-styled intoxication. Pecan, berry, and currant notes coat sticky underbelly.
(RIDGEWAY) SANTA’S BUTT WINTER PORTER
Amiable ruby-maroon English porter humorously celebrates Saint Nick’s wide posterior with off-dry mocha frontage, roasted coffee sequel, and toasted barley bottom. Tobacco-dried plum wine and port illusions enter the fray beside grape tannin souring. Sedate watery finish sops mild malt creaminess.
RIDGEWAY LUMP OF COAL DARK HOLIDAY STOUT
Sadly, nebulous maroon-hued winter stout lacks expectant spicy seasonal intrigue and lusty mocha wanderlust, allowing witty Yuletide moniker to be more notable than muddled watered-down flavoring and diffuse charcoal aroma. ‘Dark Holiday’ seasonal claims to be “much more than you deserve for X-mas,” but thin roasted malting, dim chocolate-cocoa confection, concealed raisin-fig meekness, and dirty earthen whimper deaden impact. Understated hop-oiled cocoa-dried astringency blemishes dulled red-purple grape frolic, smothered pineapple-grapefruit slip, and cryptic anise snip.
(RIDGEWAY) IVANHOE ENGLISH PALE ALE
Sufficient amber-reddish pale body contrasts summery stone-fruited sweetness against lemony currant bittering. But thin barley-roasted amber graining melts away beneath weak spiced hop flop.
RIDGEWAY INDIA PALE ALE
Bereft gold-cleared medium-bodied faux-IPA applies piney-hopped lemon rind bittering to wayward wheat wafer sweetness. Nasty phenolic finish disturbs clean water flow while fruity expectancy never materializes. Caught between a boring American IPA and its original peat-licked English version.
(RIDGEWAY) CRIMINALLY BAD ELF BARLEYWINE
Fourth in a series behind Bad, Seriously Bad, and Very Bad Elf, hilariously labeled barleywine highlights a jailed dwarf. Boozy 10% alcohol whir and stiff brandy sniff guarantee heady rigidity justified by chewy caramel malting and bruised orange-cherry-banana sweetness countering increasingly bitter solvent-like severity. Syrupy cling peaches, rum-soaked raisins, wet tobacco, bubblegum, and vanilla decorate brown-sugared molasses sapping. It’s concentrated evil.
RIDGEWAY BITTER ALE
Fleeting bottle conditioned yellow-bodied bitter gains brisk honeyed lemon entry that flutters away. Oncoming juniper-dried blueberry tartness surmounts flat phenol acidity, but humdrum white bread sloth and diacetyl nature prove ruinous.